Patience

Good evening, friends! Its been five months since the resolutions began and my intention for this year was to cultivate patience in my life. Five months in, it seems as though it has helped tremendously, and I only really notice in very subtle ways.

This morning on my commute to work there are two busses that come to my stop after the subway, and the first one does NOT go where I need to go, and the second one does. They are both called the 11’s, which is confusing, one is B and the other A, and today I got on the wrong bus. It took me around the block, I considered getting off, but instead I sat and waited, hoping and trusting that it would just take me back to where I started.

I unravelled my headphones, put my ipod into my bag, and sat until it rolled back into the station. Ten minute detour for a loop? That’s fine. Got off the bus, waited five minutes, and my bus came to which I got on and got to work only five minutes late. No fuss, not even breaking a sweat, just smooth bus-sailing.

And that, for me, is patience at work in my life. Five months ago–hell, two months ago, I would’ve freaked out, thrown a tantrum (probably not, or, I would like to believe not) break into tears and hyperventilate until I got back to the station, or gotten off immediately and called a cab. I got through it, without freaking out, trusting things would work out, and I did it I did it I did it!

So yeah, there have been moments of panic, but things work themselves out, and you know what? That’s enough for me.

Five months into 2015 and my New Year’s Resolution is still in full swing, and every day I am challenged, and every day I am pleased with myself.

Hope you’re having a great tuesday.

xx Jess

Mini-Break in Photos

Good evening friends! I hope you’ve had a spectacular long-weekend! I’ve spent it with myfamily, my Martin, and my Sauble Beach! We played a lot of cards, found a lot of ice in Lake Huron, mini-golfing, and lots of other fun things. I am so grateful to have a place to retreat to outside of the city, but its nice to be home. I’ve popped in a shephard’s pie and have a few scenes to memorize before settling into Game of Thrones, what a beautiful weekend!

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I’ll end this with my main man, Martin, who was patient, and adventurous, and a great companion for a weekend at the beach.  Thaks for being such a goob with me, making me delicious “orange crush” cocktails in moo cow cups, sitting through Knocked Up AND the Billboard Music Awards, swimming multiple times, slowly playing mini golf, watching me eat and entire oder of Mars’ fries to myself, and snuggling up in the cold evenings.  You’re the best.

xx Jess

Song Of The Day: May 14, 2015

Good evening friends! I hope you’re all having a lovely Thursday! I’ve decided to take today to share a great song with you all. You may know it, but if you don’t then I’d recommend taking it for a listen. I love it. There’s something about an upbeat classic rock song that is perfect for pretty much anything: cleaning, dancing, cooking, running. Fleetwood Mac’s got it all, really.

It was a bit better live, you can ask AJ to describe my dance moves It end to be as lame as humanly possible and i LOVE it.

Today, while walking home from the subway, I bopped along Spadina to it, I feel as though the people in my neighbourhood are already getting used to me either dancing or singing out loud. You’re welcome, UoT!

xx Jess

Travel Insights

You know, the thing about travelling in my current state is that I want to “see” as many things as I possibly can. But really it is because I want to experience as many things as I possibly can. I want to have the feeling of the wind that happens when I reach the edge of a mountain in Scotland, or the chill before entering a hot spring in Peru. I want to feel the hot air as I walk down the side streets in Tuscany and hear the sounds of New York City Broadway as I leave the restaurant after dinner to venture down to see a show. There is nothing in the world like seeing a place for the first time, but its even more indescribeable to experience it.

They’re going to ask you why you want to leave the places you know because you can’t see the places far away, but seeing isn’t everything.

Experiencing is the quality of travel that is detectable by all beings of all abilities, and travel is invaluable for a sense of self and identity among a world so vastly different, beautiful and amazing.

People eat different things, they worship different Gods, they wear different clothes and watch different tv shows. They even learn different things in schools, and of course they speak different languages.

We are so lucky to live in Canada, and have the CNIB here and have such a beautiful and relatively safe environment to live in.

But stepping outside of our doors and opening our minds to the rest of the world gives us the confidence to find our place in it.

Should I learn Braille? & other terrifying questions

Good morning friends and happy Monday!  What a beautiful day it is!  Just kidding, its grey and tired looking outside, and everyone seems to be a bit begrudging the work week beginning (especially after a beautiful/muggy weekend) but I am optimistic as the long weekend approaches (short week, huzzah!) and I have a busy week planned indeed!  Today I thought I’d look at some of the strange, real things that I have to deal with on a daily basis!

A few months ago I got a new fake eye put in, and that my friends is an example of an independent clause that I literally say in my real life.  Real life to each individual is generally strange out of context, nick names, inside jokes, but a frequent asked question that I get is “so, do yous leep with your fake eye in?” and that my friends is normal for me (I do sleep with my fake eye in, I don’t take it out unless it is uncomfortable).  But the strange thing about my real life is that its extremely inconsistent and unpredictable…  Soud familiar?  Good, because that’s how life SHOULD be, who wants to live a life that always has the same things coming up around the corner?  I just sometimes find myself working through some hard to swallow inquiries on my own, and thought I’d elaborate on a few.

Should I start learning Braille?

You may or may not be the wiser that I am legally blind.  I have very limited vision in my right eye, and my eye specialists are quite sure that my eyesight can go one of two ways: it can stay the same, or it can get worse.  If they choose to go down the second road, then I feel like I should prepare myself and learn braille and figure out some accessible routes that I can go down.  I hate this idea, however, because it hasn’t happened yet, and I love the way that I see now.  I am grateful for the sight that I do have, and don’t want to jinx it by learning new tips.  Maybe as a hobby, but Braille doesn’t quite interest me as other things do.  This, my friends, is a predicament indeed.

PostGraduate Education vs. the Working World

The idea that I will not be making a steady income for a few years infuriates me, and yet I am still drawn unwavering to further education.  I love theories, I love learning, I love teaching and workshops and everything that comes with the Masters degree that I am pursuing this fall.  I love research, and I love working with professionals.  I think the hardest part is that there is a huge unknown, a huge Question Mark at the end of the Masters program when I’ve finished my thesis and that is:  Will it be worth it?  Will it be giving me a job in some way?  Will I ever be working for longer than a four month period?

Where do I want to live?

With a roommate?  In Toronto?  With my family?  With a boyfriend?  Alone?  Alone.  Will I be safe?  Will I feel scared?  Do I feel comfortable living alnoe?  How much do I want to pay?  How much can I pay through the year without working?  Why can’t I just find a place yet?  Why have I not been satisfied with my living situation since I was 20 years old?  I just want to find a nice place to live and stay there for a few years.  I am ready.

Why can’t I commit to a solo creative outlet?

I’ve started writing a web series, a comic book, three or four new plays, a new blog full of poetry, countless notebooks full of everything, and the only thing that has stuck is this blog and it has yet to be extremely creative.  I want to be able to write, daily, something that isn’t prose, but the plays that I’m working on are uninspired and the other work is all…not the right time.  I need to find the project that is RIGHT for right now.

Is anything worth it?

I’ll leave this open-ended, because I think on this constantly.  OF COURSE my life is worth it, and being strong and driven is worth it, but is what I want to do, the things that I am passionate about and are interested in, theatre, women, equality, accessibility, advocacy, is this worth it in relation to eachother?  Am I doing the right thing?  Can I make any change at all?

Hope all of you are havinga  lovely Monday!

xx Jess

This or That

Hi friends and happy Friday! I’ve had a long, kind of off day, and just realised that my post from yesterday wasn’t actually posted, so, needless to say I’m a bit perturbed…I have a bunch f posts for next week though! Here’s afun “Tag” for Beauty choosing between two main products i each category! Fun for me…maybe interesting for you? Hhe, enjoy!

Makeup

Blush or Bronzer?
I usually use one with the other but if I had to choose then Bronzer. I have surprisingly fell in love with Bronzer.

Lipgloss or Lipstick?
Lipstick!

Eyeliner or Mascara?
Oou, hard one. I have trouble wearing these two products because they irritate my eyes, but if I had to choose t wear only one it’d have to be….mascara. I could fake eyeliner with eyeshadow.

Foundation or Concealer?
Concealer, I don’t know how to properly use foundation.

Neutral or Colour Eyeshadow?
Neautral, but of all my makeup products I’ve fallen the hardest for eyeshadow!

Brushes or Sponges?
Brushes, I wouldn’t know how to use a sponge!

Nails

OPI or China Glaze?
OPI for sure.

Long or Short?
I would love to always have perfectly square, middle length nails. Will that be consistent? Ever? Nope.

Acrylic or Natural?
Natural unless its a very special occaision or I have the money.

Brights or Darks?
Dark! Then I won’t bite them.

Body

Perfume or Body Spray?
Perfume! They’ve finally started to linger, when I was younger I’d use sprays.

Lotion or Body Butter?
Lotion! I m such a sucker for skin and body care its insane.

Body Wash or Soap?
I use bars of soap and I love it.

Lush or Other Bath Store?
Lush all the way! Not a fan of their makeup, shampoo or soap, but the bath and exfoliating products are a dream.

Fashion

Jeans or Sweatpants?
Leggings? Is that an option? I just recently found that sweatpants are amazing, but I still would prefer leggings over anything else.

Long Sleeved or Short?
Long sleeves. I love feeling cosy clothes on my arms.

Dresses or Skirts?
Dresses! I feel my most confident/comfortable in dresses.

Stripes or Plaid?
Stripes!

Flip Flops or Sandals?
Sandals. I have a few cute pairs of sandals and am looking for a good gladiator for the summer!

Scarves or Hats?
Oh scarves for sure, although I love beanies I always look like…well, strange. I have more scarves than I can/should mention.

Studs or Dangly Earrings?
I have hoops that I rarely remove but I like a good dangle.

Necklaces or Bracelets?
Necklaces and rings. I wear the same ones and only jewellry that was given to me, if I buy myself accessories I don’t wear them.

Hair

Curly or Straight?
Wavy

Bun or Ponytail?
Buns! Actually, BRAIDS!

Long or Short?
Definitely long, although I’ve been toying with the idea of cutting it short for the autumn this year and aking a big change!

Light or Dark?
Not really in love with anything. My hair is too light, but I don’t want tod ye it, so I’m stuck with it.

Side Swept or Full Bangs?
Full bangs, but not with my glasses on, I’ve always wanted to keep the full bangs for longer than a season but with my glasses they just look too heavy and not the adorable hipster-cute that I desire.

Up or Down?
Down

Let me know what your this or that’s are, I’m interested to know!

xx Jess

Bagged Lunch

Hello friends! I hope you’ve had a lovely day, this is just going to be a quick little post about what I bring to work for lunch. I tend to buy lunch once a week (unless otherwise entertained with a friend) so the past weeks or so this has been the grab bag mish mash what I usually bring.

I love using containers! Today I brought leftover strips of steak, a small cucumber and a handful of baby tomatos. I love everything in there and they are delicious!

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I also bring a small bag of parmesan garlic breton crackers because a meal is never complete with me without crackers.

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Usually have a wee yogurt and an apple as a snack. Not shown here because it was already eaten in the morning but I pack a small granola bar, today it was Vector protein, always up for suggestions of good protein bars for my mornings!

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This is the cute pink lunch bag that I bring to work! t is insulated and it is awesome! It has a draw string so that I can keep everything together. It’s adorable.

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That’s what I eat for lunch! What do you eat? I’d love new ideas for easy things to bring! Tomorrow will probably be a pre-packed salad with crackers and hummus! I love easy things like that!

xx Jess

The Beginning

Why, good evening friends! It is the end of the day today, and that is because today has been so tiring in so many ways. Today, began, and now it is at its end, and I am so ready for my bed.

It began with heading off to the subway for a journey all on my own for the first time all the way to work. I had to ask for help ONCE and turn around ONCE, but, I made it to work in 45 minutes! What a feat for me! I listened to Rumours the whole way (in one ear, safely) and only had ONE awkward exchange with an older lady reading a book (I didn’t realize, you know what it was fine nevermind) and then to work I got! I didn’t have time to stop for much, only a coffee, before being swept off for a day of meetings and creating pamphlets for myself!

And then around 2 I got back on the subway, streetcar and busses to learn the route home…Two and a half hours (it was an orientation lesson I didn’t get THAT lost) but now I know my area in Toronto SO MUCH BETTER and am feeling so much more comfortable. Thanks to Matt for being patient and letting me run up to grab my (ultimately useless) umbrella before continuing on to find that coffee shop!

After arriving home (completely knackered) I changed into track pants and made some pasta (while watching Netflix, I’m currently viewing Episodes with Matt Leblanc which is amazing) and scurried off for a short walk to grab another water bottle out and about in cosy clothes before returning to write a few pre-written blog posts. I love writing. I love work. I love Toronto. Today has been lovely.

Has anyone else noticed that I spell “Cosy” wrong? I noticed this about a week ago and decided confidently that it was part of my charm and the blog is unique because of it…And that’s what I’m sticking to.

Now I’m doing a bit of meditation, I had planned on doing a bit of yoga but I’m going to save that alter in the week when I can spread out in my living room (MY living room!) and make a tea and feel comfortable, not rush through it all. And then I’m going to snuggle into bed and sleep.

This has been a bit of a mind dump for the day, but these are good for me sometimes. I hope to be getting a few more posts this week!

ots of Love!

xx Jess

The Last Night

I promised a Haul and I promised some other things for the blog, and they’re coming I promise that (promise…promise…promise..) but right now I need to talk about something so hard and special and coincidental.  You may be aware that I love the TV show Sex and the City, I would even go out on a limb and say that it is my favourite show ever, and I re-watch it about twice a year.

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You may also be aware that I am currently moving tomorrow, to an apartment away from my friends and family and in a new city to a new job with new people, and it is scary.

Now, I’m not sure if you’ve ever seen Sex and the City (SPOILERS ALSO WHO ARE YOU) but at the end of the last season Carrie (main character) moves to Paris with the Russian (long story watch the show) and her friends miss her and her ex comes to find her (Mr Big it all makes sense I promise) and it is amazing and beautiful and so perfect.  And I am about to get in the tub and watch “An American Girl in Paris,” which is what the final two episodes are named, and cry alone at the end of another era.

I watched these episodes on the precipice of my Europe adventure, finding myself saying “I fell in Dior” (seriously watch this damn show) and wearing stripes and squeeling and missing home like Carrie does in these two episodes.  I’ve seriously watched this show that many times.  I just love it, I love how it makes me feel.

This is also the perfect time to mention that the Sex and the City movie is actually the one movie (among a small handful) that is on my computer and seriously comforts me in times of need.  It follows the Paris-adventure, and it is perfect to put on on Saturday night amidst unpacking, tears, and missing my beautiful Queen sized bed at home.

The thing is that this is a huge step for me.  This is the first summer I will be living away from my parents.  Ever.  This is the first time I will not know my roommates, or have friends around the corner, or commuting a half hour to work on the subway.  This, among many things going on right now, is causing me to be super excited and super apprehensive.  I just want to get there and get into it.

I want a routine, I want to work out and get up early and meditate and drink coffee at brunch on Sundays.  I want to come home and love my bed desperately and hug my family and lay on the beach.  I want to do all of these things, but tonight I am appreciating my home, with my family, with my bath tub, and with my four television-best-friends Samantha, Charlotte, Miranda and Carrie.

Xx Jess

Special Sephora Visit

Good Morning, folks!  Today’s going to be a two-hander as I’ve been a bit busy this week PACKING for my move that is TOMORROW!  There should still be a post up tomorrow, but just in case…here’s one now and another one later on!  Woo!  I’ve re-done the schedule again, so again, just stick with me till I get it all consistent.  I bet it doesn’t even make a difference to you but whatever hey thanks for reading!

Yesterday we took my mom to Sephora for a Makeup “Makeover” or an employee did her makeup all nice and she got to buy a few products that she liked.

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This was a birthday gift from a few months ago and now was the first time our schedules all allowed for it to happen!  We had such a lovely time, but as she was getting her makeup did my sister and I paroused Sephora (who needs an excuse to do that) and here are a few things I’m lusting after (not buying) right now!

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Sephora is so overwhelming sometimes, and so I ended up just getting a “tester size” (it really is a Travel size but lets be real, BB creams shouldn’t come in extremely small packages, amirite?) Smashbox product, because I’m beginning to love Smashbox more and more everyday.  I hear their Primer is good too!

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At the end of our visit my mom looked beautiful (as always) and my sister and I had a great time with her!  So great to have had this experience!  Lots of love!

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xx Jess